Burbank Travel Series - Spotlight: Colony Theatre

I couldn't stand being cooped up in the madhouse listening to the village idiot going on and on about how long the typical light bulb usually lasts - so I decided to bust out and treat myself to some live entertainment. Once procuring my escape from Casa de Dufus, I strolled the downtown section of Burbank in search of suitable entertainment and found the dazzling little theatre that is the Colony Theatre here on the corner of Third and Cypress streets. The Colony has been a staple of the Burbank community since it moved from the Silver Lake section of Los Angeles in 2000 and has been producing successful productions ever since it's inception year of 1975. The theatre boasts a list of awards too numerous to mention in one article but one can check it out for themselves with a quick visit to their website http://www.colonytheatre.org . It was with all this in mind that I set out to get a taste of some truly inspiring theatre.

For companionship, I once again recruited the talents of my good friend - Teddy  - our local Burbank wino. Unfortunately for me, Teddy was not in tip-top shape like our last jaunt - mainly due to polishing off two bottles of Boone's Farm - Snow Creek Berry wine. If one is to truly enjoy the wonders of Teddy's company, it is recommended that one gets to him earlier in the day rather than later. Normally Teddy is quick to offer pontifications of his vast knowledge of culture or stories of the history of Burbank. Tragically - this evening he had a tough time at first keeping himself upright and then later - keeping liquids inside his body. I may have to look for other cultural companions for future escapades if this continues but for now Teddy and I remain buds.

So Teddy and I arrived at the theatre at about 7:00pm for the 8:00 pm showing of the current comedy play, "Two Pianos Four Hands" I was very excited as I awaited my first theatre experience and couldn't wait to get inside to at least buy a program. After waiting for about fifteen minutes, and just as I was about to get to the box office window, I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of that unmistakable white van with black letters on the side that is the Burbank Animal Control Mobile. 

Having just ditched the mumbling Teddy in the back alleyway minutes before was probably not one of my greatest decisions but it was necessary because he had grown tired of the wait and had once again decided to use the bathroom without actually excusing himself. Anyway, I watched the van as it slowed down to inspect the large dog sporting a lampshade walking around in front of the Colony Theatre without any apparent owner nearby. Well, they soon made up their mind and began to turn the van around my way. I knew that if they got me - there would be a lot of explaining to the big doofus owner and who needed that? Before you could say, "spayed and neutered", I found myself running into a nearby underground parking lot looking for a quick escape. I eventually made my way through the parking garage and fortunately found a suitable hiding spot in the IKEA loading dock area. Fred the dock manager was a very nice man who gave me half a bologna sandwich and a bowl of water while I waited for the fuzz to vacate the area. He even took off my lampshade so that I could relax. What a nice man! 

Well, needless to say, with all the commotion, I missed my curtain time and had to settle for a long disappointing walk home. Making matters worse was having to hear the idiot owner going on and on about my not having my lamp shade when he found me in the back yard. Fortunately my pain was soon eased when he decided to trudge off to the pet store to get me another shade. That was just as I was beginning to get used to unobstructed views again. I tell you, if it weren't for my bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all!

Overall, I give the Colony Theatre high marks - mainly for the curb appeal of the building because let's face it - that was all I really saw. Unfortunately I will once again have to apologize for the lack of a proper review since I was unable to gain access to my desired event despite my best intentions. I did hear from Fred the IKEA loading dock manager that the show is a big success so if your looking for an enjoyable evening while in the downtown section of Burbank - try Burbank's own Colony Theatre. Oh, and do say hello to Teddy if he's still lying behind the dumpster in the alley. 

Haley's Dog Ratings: Colony Theatre performance of Two Pianos Four Hands 

1. Building - 5 barks
   
2. Acting - N/A
3. Story - N/A
4. Costumes - N/A
5. Programs - 5 barks - smelled crisp and new

Until next time - have a great day folks!

FREEDOM!!!!

I did it - I found out a way to get the lamp shade off by running myself into some corners! The release was probably one of the sweetest moments of my life - take that doofus owner! I decided that I wasn't going to wear that darn thing anymore and then I went to work. Anyone or anything that was in my way - be it animal, vegetable, or mineral was not spared my wrath. I even almost knocked the small human boy over along with a teenage visitor during my rampage. Unfortunately, my victory was short lived.  The village idiot owner came home soon afterwards and put the contraption right back on me - this time adding more banding for good measure. I also received some of the ole stink eye as well. Oh well, the short lived freedom was well worth it. Have a good night folks!

Party dog again...

Well, I did it again. Just when I got the lampshade off - it's back on again. Apparently, one is not allowed to go back to what one loves after life's chains are removed. I can't help myself  - I obsess over certain areas of my paws. I knew I was in trouble when the big doofus caught me licking my paw after dinner. He immediately went into the garage and got my shade out. I really hate that thing! Ok, I'm off to stew over things. Have a good day folks!

Big blow up - July 2009

I can feel it coming on. The first booms occurred last night off in the distance and if memory serves me correctly - I have until tomorrow evening to find a suitable hiding spot. I'll just say it - I can't stand fireworks! Have absolutely no use for them. They hurt my sensitive ears and I'm pretty sure the other dogs on the street are with me on this as well.

At least its not as bad here in Burbank as it was in Florida where every year the neighbors practically blew up the whole street. They would get unlimited supplies at all the tent stands that were set up every block or so. One would then witness an unending procession of people buying fireworks around the clock. I'm guessing that if you combined all the explosive power of all the fireworks sold in the Ft Myers/Cape Coral area around this time of year - it would equal that of a small nuclear device. The only thing that saves the cities is that people don't fire everything off all at once. Instead, they stretch the holiday from one into seven or more days.

Boy, I sure did suffer back there. There were times when I didn't even want to go outside - not even to use the bathroom. Of course that great friend of scared dogs - idiotic owner of mine - would force me outside against my will just because he was afraid I would let loose on the carpets - big moron! Oh well, it didn't last long because as soon as I would hear the first booms - I would run gangbusters into the door trying to get back inside. Once back, I would then spend the rest of the evening in the same place I used for lightning storms - under the owner's bed.

I can feel it coming on - that booming is already rattling inside my brain. I've been sizing up how much room there is under there and making escape plans. I'm hoping the goofball will come to his senses this year and finally call the vet to get me some pills or something. Unfortunately  he's a cheap wad so I'm not holding out much hope. Maybe I'll hit up the living room bar later on to see what kinds of liquors are on the menu - that might calm me down. Have a happy holiday folks!

Ahhhh... Chooo....

That's all I've been hearing the past few days from the big moron owner. My God, he finally gets a job after months of loafing around the house and then he goes and gets a cold. What a sissy! Works all day, comes home and  practically falls through the door onto the floor exhausted. I'm tired he says - like he was really working hard at his new office - training is probably a piece of cake. I can't imagine them putting him through the ringer on the first weak. Regardless, the mans a big wimp and I want nothing to do with him. At this point, I'll refuse to go for a walk if he asks. Who knows - he might have some kind of weird swine/canine flu? I can't risk getting something from him. Have a good day - I'm disgusted!

Relax...

Wow, now that the goofball is back working again - I can't believe how relaxing it is around here! It's refreshing to not have to hear all his whining about high food prices or call outs to the heavens questioning, "why me oh Lord?" - Pathetic! Anyway, I'm so excited about all this that I actually skipped the early afternoon patrol to take a decent nap today. I tell you - this sure is the life! Now I just have to pray that the village idiot doesn't do something stupid to screw this up. The last thing I need is another couple of months of his idiocy around here. As for me - I'm going to continue writing my thoughts and continue to enjoy my extended afternoon naps  - which is my right. Enjoy the day folks!

I'd like to drive...

The teenager of the house is close to getting his license so I'm wondering what's in all this for me. I mean, I'm the loyal dog here - shouldn't I be getting more opportunities to score car rides with another person in the household driving? I guess we'll have to see but I'm looking into things just to cover my bases. I went to the DMV website to investigate what it takes to get a driver's license here in California. So far I haven't seen anything to suggest that dogs are not allowed to drive so that is encouraging.  

I did try to call someone to ask questions but they couldn't understand me and threatened me with harassment of a government offical. Oh well - let them come and get the goofball owner - see how much I care. I would love thought to score a license for myself so I could get the freedom of hitting the open road. It would be great - I'd drive everywhere with my head out the window - enjoying the whip of the wind as it brushed the fur away from my face. I could also howl excitedly while scoring bunches of points taking out all the feral cats running about the streets of Burbank. Maybe they'd even give me a medal or something? My God, that would be beautiful! Well, at the very least I'll still have the teenager if my license doesn't work out. Maybe he will let me be the navigator? Have a great day folks!