Thursday, June 11, 2009

Burbank Travel Series - Spotlight: Monte Carlo

As a dog, I have limited opportunities to get out and explore the world. It's not a surprise then that my view is exclusively of the immediate businesses and yards surrounding my home here in Burbank, CA. This unfortunately prevents me from obtaining my dream of becoming a traveling dog blog writer - on the lines of Anthony Bourdain. I love his style - he always looks as if he is having the time of his life- probably because he is drunk as a skunk most of the time. I'm afraid I'll never get to his level though since I'm stuck here in this prison of a back yard pretending to be the goofball owner's best friend. I guess I shouldn't complain - most eateries Bourdain frequents wouldn't let me in anyway unless they were planning on putting me on the menu. 

So with all this in mind, I thought I would take matters into my own paws and write my own brand based on the areas I can walk to or see from my yard. My first review is on the Monte Carlo Italian Deli here in Burbank. Unfortunately, I couldn't review the interior ambiance or service of the establishment since being a dog - I was quickly chased outside with a broom by the powers that be. What  I can tell you though is that if you like the smell of Italian food mixed with garbage and don't mind eating out of a trash dumpster -come around to the back of the building because this is the place for you! I had the pleasure of gorging myself on all manner of partially eaten foods; pizza, ravioli, sausages, meatball sandwiches, as well as leftover salads and garlic bread pieces. Oh, what a cavalcade of heavenly tastes! I have to admit that I accidentally ate some used napkins in my haste but that is to be expected when one is eating like a starving animal.

As for ambiance, I had the pleasure of a trash dining partner in - Teddy, a local wino I met walking down the back alley, He also doubled as a gracious impromptu host by opening the trash bin for me while I was having thumb issues. I highly recommend dinning with a knowledgeable companion like Teddy who was very adept at explaining the lower end wine selections that the business had to offer. We were having such a wonderful time - talking and laughing that we completely lost track of the time. Just as I was beginning to think our magical evening would never end, one of the kitchen boys came out and chased us off with some choice Spanish profanities. Teddy was nice enough to respond on our behalf but we all knew the night was over. The fence to the bin was locked up for the rest of the evening and I was tragically unable to review any of their delicious desserts. I do hear though that the cannoli is to die for. 

Overall, I highly recommend the dumpster diving feast at Monte Carlo mainly for the food- that is if you are lucky enough to show up on a day when the dumpster's fence is unlocked. The only drawbacks are the dumpster ambiance and service which can use a little work. I suggest bringing your own candles and companion. If you happen to see Teddy say hello - maybe he'll be nice enough to share a swig of his wine selection with you. 

Haley's Dog Ratings: Monte Carlo Dumpster Area Dining 
  1. Food - 5 barks
  2. Ambiance - 3 barks for alluring garbage aroma and soothing electrical transformer hum.
  3. Service - 1 bark - we suggest they lose the profanities and forced exit tactics.
Until next time - have a great day folks!


  1. What show was it that used to say it was from "Beautiful downtown Burbank"? Was it Laugh In? Oh, I forgot, you're only 10. Well, whatever. Matters not. What is important is that I now know that the Monte Carlo hails from there and it sounds dang tasty to me, though I don't need to go to Burbank to dine with Box Car Willie. I'm close enough to NYC to dine with any one of several hundred vent-bums any time I please.

  2. DG - yes it was Laugh in that said that. I also believe that Johnny Carson referred to the downtown area in that manner as well.

    Let me know when you share a meal with any of those vent bums. I sure would love to compare notes! :)

  3. Is this not Pinocchio's? No wonder you ventured over there ,you can smell the meats from your house!

  4. mmm.... pizza, ravioli, sausages, meatball sandwiches, salads and garlic bread pieces...


  5. Thanks for the new restaurant/deli suggestion, but beware of that Teddy. He's all about wining and dining in the begining. He'll show his true colors soon enough!

  6. Doreen -yes it is also known as Pinocchio's - Deli side is Monte carlo and the Restaurant side is Pinocchio's. I wanted to keep it simple.

    Nooter - you better believe it!

    Kirsten - Thanks for the warning but Teddy only is concerned with the bottle these days.

  7. I absolutely love Anthony Bourdain, I rarely miss an episode. It's the way he exposes his viewers to the culture of the many place he visits that makes me want to book a flight.

    Pop on over to The Screaming Me-Me for a BIG announcement.