Sunday, July 19, 2009

Your the one that I want?

Came into the room the other night to catch the owner and his wife watching an old movie on the television. They were watching some movie about high school kids who sang annoying songs about devotion, grease lightning, and beauty school drop outs. They were greatly amused with this train wreck of a movie - watching all sing-songy - enjoying the hell out of it. For the life of me I can't figure it out because the basic story goes against everything they usually teach their kids.

First we have the nice girl from down under - this Sandy girl who has moved from Australia to Southern California - I guess to screw up her life because she chooses the worst possible degenerate sluts as friends. This also comes on the heals of spending her whole Summer with the greaser loser - Danny Zucco! BTW - what the hell was he doing at the beach in the first place? How did he get there everyday - he didn't have a car!  Also how in the hell did that girl make it to that point in her life being so sweet and nice when she clearly had no idea on how to choose appropriate friends? And where the hell were her parents for all of this?

So this was a big hit when the owner and his wife were kids - huh? What the hell was going on back then to make people crazy over this? Ok, so let's shoot to the pearl of an ending - because this is everyone's favorite part. Danny shows up at the post school carnival wearing a letterman sweater for running track - now we're talking! The greaseball is finally going to clean up his life and might try to make something out of himself for Sandy. I can live with this - but wait - a new twist. In someone's f'ed up world - it is thought best to make the nice girl  -one who would soon be off to college effectively getting away from these dregs - into a slut! Boy that must have been a great relief to all the girls of that generation. Don't worry about school - just wear slutty clothes, smoke, put out, and plan to run around the rest of your life with a loser who for all his toughness - dances like a nancy boy. Yeah that was a wonderful ending! Sandy would have been better off putting out to the captain of the football team - or the whole football team for that matter. At least one of them might have gotten a scholarship or something. 

Let's fast forward twenty years into the future shall we. Here we find the resentful - bitter, Sandy fuming because she gave up her life for an overweight,out of work couch potato who still thinks a greasy pompadour is the height of style . Now that money is scarce, they continuously fight over who took the last smoke out of the pack. Because of her two pack a day habit, Sandy now sports a wicked raspy voice like Don Cornelius of Soul Train. Because of this, her songs no longer hold any weight and people scream  when she tries to sing in the backyard at night that she should shut the hell up for they need to get up in the morning for work - unlike her good for nothing husband. Making matters worse is that Danny has grown bored and now spends his nights at the bar making out with the toothless Rizzo who left Kenickie years ago after his drunken car accident left him in a near vegetative state. As for the rest of the Pink Ladies - they are now called the Pink Flabby Skanks. But we should be happy for this dream ending right? Oh well - I guess that is one version of the American dream that you guys can have! Good night!


  1. Haley,

    I heard that Ebert is about to kick Roper to the curb. Want a job?

  2. great post, when the human read it he remembered the container of used bacon grease under the kitchen sink he was planning to throw away. now its gone. i had plans for that grease, was going to retire with it to warmer climes. crap.

  3. Nooter - thanks and sorry about your loss of bacon grease.

    Candice - yeah, I had to chuckle writing the review.

    Bio - unfortunately so...