Being held captive...

I must say that I'm a bit depressed today. Talk about being made into a pariah! Look at my conditions and decide for yourself. One look at this fence is all you should need. Notice the large sign in red, "Beware of Dog". Is this really necessary? I consider myself to be quite level headed, if not charming - I'm not sure what there is to, " beware of". Now granted there has been trouble in my past where I might have been a bit too strong pawed with other dogs but I'm reformed. Believe me when I say that I really do want friends now. Gone are the anti-social tendencies of my youth  like when I planted Jake, the next door neighbor dog, into the ground for drinking out of my water dish - not that he didn't have it coming. What the hell was he thinking?! But I digress, Gone also are the uncontrolled days where I would pull my owner on leash with all my being  - choking myself -to get at a cat or squirrel or any other dumb, useless, don't deserve to live animals. The gall of those infidels knows no end! I swear - if I even get my teeth into them - oh ... they will rue the  day of their bastardized births! Sorry... I digress again. Listen, it's not that I'm a bad dog - ask my family. I have my faults but I would never purposely  hurt anyone or anything. Yes, I'm changed - turned over a new leaf. Reformed myself and definitely deserve to be allowed to move though the neighborhood  with little to no supervision.  I ask that you contact my owner and put a good word in for my parole. Just look at my picture above - yes that is me looking out my small window into the world. I watch as my tormentors paraded in front of my home day and night - urinating and defecating on MY GRASS!!!! If I could just get out one time, I could show them once and for all who holds sway on this street! Oh, and don't even get me started on that little guy with the blue shorts and leather pouch who places taunting letters into my mail slot EVERY DAY JUST TO MOCK ME!!!! I'm pretty sure he is Korean and you know what that means. Oh.... I get a bit emotional from being cooped up. Now you know why I must get out. Please remember to put a good word in for me -I will not let you down.