Tuesday, May 26, 2009

What's going on across the street?

In my role as security expert here on the compound, I am expected to keep a vigilant eye out for suspicious events going on around our neighborhood. Of course whether anyone listens to me is an entirely different matter. For example, I was the only one who knew  what was going on the night our house was being TP'd by kids. Unfortunately, my efforts to inform the family went ignored. I was also the only one who heard funny sounds from next door the night the Winchester Widow's home was being burglarized. Of course - once again the idiot owner  didn't listen to me and just stayed in bed. So tonight I'm sitting her wondering why I have been ignored and what I need to do to get some action around here.

I'm thinking that maybe its a volume problem. Maybe I just need to elevate my call to arms with more gusto. Hold on - I think I hear a cat outside. This may be a good time to try something new- it's about 12:30 am and everyone  is in bed. Let me sound the alarm and I'll report back. Hold on...

Ok, that didn't work - raising the volume didn't get anyone to respond. All I got was a stern warning to keep quiet from the big ninny. But wait... I'm hearing the neighbor from down the street walking Snickers the Labradoodle in front of our home again. The owner should be concerned with this - shouldn't he? I'll sound the alarm and see if anyone stirs this time.
Hold on... I'll be right back

Ok, nobody seems to care about the Labradoodle. Apparently the owner is too tired to come out of the bedroom and investigate but he did manage to throw a house slipper in my direction this time. I think  that maybe we're making some progress here. Maybe the key is persistence - yeah, persistence makes things happen. Oh -oh... I  think I hear Buford the possum in front of the house. The owner should really be concerned because I think that lousy possum is the one eating his wife's flowers.  I'll sound the alarm once more to see if the big dummy will come to help defend the homestead. hold on...  I'll report right back...

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile - 

Ok, change of plans. I'm now talking to you from my training crate here in the laundry area. The good news is that my barking got a response. The bad news...  Anyway, from my crate I can clearly see the neighbor's house across the street. It appears that a large truck has pulled up in front and a whole bunch of guys have gotten out to apparently help move all of the neighbor's furniture from the house into the truck. Funny, I didn't even know he was looking to move. Boy it sure is refreshing to see people helping each other out  - especially at this late hour. This guy must really have some great friends who...  Oh ...  ah... never mind. Ok, I'm going to get myself to sleep now. Good night everyone!


  1. It really stinks that your heroic acts go unappreciated. It's like when I try to stop my son from verbally harassing his sister before she hits him with a copy of Tiger Beat. He keeps getting paper cuts from Joe Jonas' hair. My warnings are for naught. I sympathize sister. I sympathize.

  2. wow you get a blackberry im so jealous.

    ive found that when i have something to say and the humans in bed then standing on his chest whilst speaking usually gets good results