Having that kind of day? ... Try having that kind of life!

One thing after another around here lately. If it isn't work problems, sick people, sick pets, car accidents or vehicles being broken into - it's just general bad luck all around! I'm beginning to wondering... when the hell is this patch going to end and what is going on?! We never used to get bombarded all at once with problems but all of a sudden all hell has broken loose. I guess it's just our turn. Anyone else out these being put through the ringer? I guess we still have our laughter... or is that just inside my own head. Oh, great, now I'm going insane to boot! 

I guess the real problem is that I've been blessed with just enough intelligence to recognize that things are complete crap but not enough brain to figure out how to get out of this funk. Either I need to add some smarts real quick or resort to whacking myself upside of the head with a ball pein hammer so as to achieve the, "ignorance is bliss" lifestyle my moron owner enjoys. Oh well - I guess I'm off to find that hammer - have a great day folks!

Welcome back doofus...

Well, the idiot owner is back from his trip back east and thank God I have access to the computer once again. Back in black is listed above for two reasons  - first because it represents the color of my mood now that my personal village idiot owner has returned and secondly Mr IQ of six  has seen fit to come back from his trip (probably an awards ceremony celebrating America's dumbest people) packing on an extra ten pounds from eating all the greasy foods he grew up on. Now he's taken to wearing black clothes to make himself look thinner until he loses the weight. I tell you - he's completely ridiculous because if he just put half the amount of effort into losing weight as he does concealing himself up he'd probably have Sally Struthers campaigning late nights on his behalf.

Ok, have a great day folks!

Off the grid...

I may not be posting much from now until the middle of next week because the big doofus owner is planing on taking the computer with him to work for the next few days. That said, I'll be having limited access from here on. I may be able to squeeze in a post or two late at night while he is having his moronic beauty sleep but poor sap would be needing something on the lines of Rip Van Winkle just to get borderline normal looking. Anyway, do check now and again.

 I did have a good day on patrol - no interlopers lately since all that damn fruit is off the trees out back. It sure is a relief not having to bark like an idiot  all day in order to scare off the squirrels and those fascist green parrots. Now I can have a vacation. Have a great day folks!

Rewind the tape...

Once again we all meet at our favorite day of the week. We sit dejected at out desks/posts - the weekend's supply of alcohol slowly worked out of our systems. We now trudge forward painfully into the blackness of another damn workweek. I'm sure everybody out there has been annoyed by at least one or two of their idiot coworkers by this time of the day . You know the people of which I speak- the ones who live for work because that's all they have in their pathetic little existences. They move about - every ounce of their being devoted to how far up the boss's bum they can squeeze their overly inflated heads. They are the absolute worst sort - company people. They are the ones who question why you took the extra pen or pad because you just got some the other day. They're also the same people who informed the boss of that schedule conflict thus preventing you from taking that dream vacation you had planned. Lastly, they are the ones who bring the worst smelling lunch - stinking the joint up - talking with their mouths full - spitting their foul concoctions into your face giving non-stop direction for the eight hours you are there. I tell you - I really need to start my own business! Have a good day.

Saturday question of the week... #2

With all the current specialty dog food brands - IAMS, Eukanuba, etc. on the market - would ALPO still be considered a good/heathy dog food brand? Before chiming in -let us not forget that old, "Duke" lived to be something like 120 years old in human years eating only ALPO or so said Lorne Greene in the old commercials.

Taunting the fool...

After a long week of security patrols here on the compound, I'm really looking forward to relaxing over the weekend. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do but I'm pretty sure it involves nothing. Not only that, I plan on lying on the grass while the moron slaps on his work clothes and goes about yard work just so he can see me doing nothing. Then every chance I get I'll get in his way as he mows the lawn - because I can. I can do so without fear of his little electric green machine since he wouldn't dare run me over and if he did - I'm not too sure it would do any damage anyway. You can not comprehend my shame watching him outside  each and every week wearing his dark shorts, black socks, and stretched  out  v-neck tee shirt pushing that contraption around the yard. All the rest of the block gets buff gas machines and I got the fat version of Ed Begley Jr outside doing the sissy mower dance of the doofus around the front yard. Oh well, I guess I'll be drinking plenty of tequila this weekend! Have a great weekend folks!

So what's the big deal...

The owner and his wife were watching the new Leno show tonight at 10pm. I'm not sure what all the fuss is about since it appears that all they did was move Conan's old show to the Tonight Show spot and the old Tonight Show was moved to 10 pm. 

The critics didn't like Leno's new show but what's the difference beside the loss of the interview desk? Maybe if the new show was about Jay having a tea party with some dolls or something  then we might have something truly new but this so called, "new" show is  just too much like his old show.