Fistfight at 30,000 feet?

How would you like to be on a passenger jet cruising at 30,000 feet when the pilots and crew members engage in a fistfight? Well, that is just what was witnessed by passengers on an Air India jet recently. Keep in mind this was not about restraining an unruly passenger or anything like that - they were fighting over a report that one of the pilots had molested one of the female crew members. I can understand sticking up for the woman but maybe someone should have thought a bit deeper before deciding to open cans of whoop-ass in front of the passengers. Let us cover a few scenarios:

1) Hooray - crew members are successful at giving the pilots the beat down effectively teaching the, " keep your filthy hands off of the ladies" lesson. Victory to the oppressed yes, but then who left is capable of flying/landing the plane? Scenario # 1 proves that chivalry is not dead - all the passengers yes - but chivalry no!

2) Hooray - Pilots give the beat down to the surly crew members - putting the bastards in their place. Ok, now I know they can be slightly annoying at times with all the emergency directions, seat belt reminders, and checking your slightly larger than the overhead storage area bag, but who the hell is going to serve the alcohol after all the flight attendants get rung up? Not me - no I'm sticking with scenario #1 since I need the alcohol in order to fly these days.

3) Hooray- the pilots promise to not play grab-ass for the remainder of the flight and the molested woman is allowed to rest and recover from being groped. After the flight lands, the authorities are called in to investigate the incident when all the passengers are safely on the ground.  You know - call me crazy but I do believe that this  is the one I prefer since if I'm a passenger I get my drinks (a bit slower with one less staff member) and I get to live. 

Well there you have it. I'm hoping that someone from Air India comes across this post and adds it to their training manuel. I believe their passengers will prefer it.

NOTE: The picture above does not depict any of the people involved in the ruckus - at least as far as I know.

Saturday question of the week... #3

Who has the best coffee?

I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen...

Not sure why I even bother since nobody ever listens to me. Maybe, if the idiot owner ever investigated when I was barking - he might find out something interesting. Like... I don't know - there's someone rifling through your car in the driveway and is about to make off with that GPS navigator system you like so much. But I guess some people always need to learn the hard way. 

This of course is nothing new - we've been down this road before. He gets his stuff taken and then he gets mad saying I should have informed him. Informed him?! I was barking like a moron for a whole ten minutes outside. And what was his response? He yelled from the sofa that I should quiet down. What the hell did he think I was doing? I guess I was supposed to walk into the house and tap him on the shoulder saying, "Excuse me Mr Owner sir but you better move quickly because there is someone pilfering your possessions in the driveway." Or maybe I was just supposed to rig up some elaborate system of search lights and sirens like they have at prisons? 

It's not like he would have done anything anyway. I seriously doubt he was going to run outside and slap an MMA style arm bar submission or guillotine choke hold on the guy. At the most -he would have just yelled at the guy to get out of his car and then called the police. 

Anyway, if there is anyone he should be upset with - it should be himself for leaving the car door unlocked. Don't blame me because you didn't think - take ownership! Oh well, I'm disgusted - but that's my lot in life. I'm spending the weekend in my dog hole. Have a good one!

Having that kind of day? ... Try having that kind of life!

One thing after another around here lately. If it isn't work problems, sick people, sick pets, car accidents or vehicles being broken into - it's just general bad luck all around! I'm beginning to wondering... when the hell is this patch going to end and what is going on?! We never used to get bombarded all at once with problems but all of a sudden all hell has broken loose. I guess it's just our turn. Anyone else out these being put through the ringer? I guess we still have our laughter... or is that just inside my own head. Oh, great, now I'm going insane to boot! 

I guess the real problem is that I've been blessed with just enough intelligence to recognize that things are complete crap but not enough brain to figure out how to get out of this funk. Either I need to add some smarts real quick or resort to whacking myself upside of the head with a ball pein hammer so as to achieve the, "ignorance is bliss" lifestyle my moron owner enjoys. Oh well - I guess I'm off to find that hammer - have a great day folks!

Welcome back doofus...

Well, the idiot owner is back from his trip back east and thank God I have access to the computer once again. Back in black is listed above for two reasons  - first because it represents the color of my mood now that my personal village idiot owner has returned and secondly Mr IQ of six  has seen fit to come back from his trip (probably an awards ceremony celebrating America's dumbest people) packing on an extra ten pounds from eating all the greasy foods he grew up on. Now he's taken to wearing black clothes to make himself look thinner until he loses the weight. I tell you - he's completely ridiculous because if he just put half the amount of effort into losing weight as he does concealing himself up he'd probably have Sally Struthers campaigning late nights on his behalf.

Ok, have a great day folks!

Off the grid...

I may not be posting much from now until the middle of next week because the big doofus owner is planing on taking the computer with him to work for the next few days. That said, I'll be having limited access from here on. I may be able to squeeze in a post or two late at night while he is having his moronic beauty sleep but poor sap would be needing something on the lines of Rip Van Winkle just to get borderline normal looking. Anyway, do check now and again.

 I did have a good day on patrol - no interlopers lately since all that damn fruit is off the trees out back. It sure is a relief not having to bark like an idiot  all day in order to scare off the squirrels and those fascist green parrots. Now I can have a vacation. Have a great day folks!

Rewind the tape...

Once again we all meet at our favorite day of the week. We sit dejected at out desks/posts - the weekend's supply of alcohol slowly worked out of our systems. We now trudge forward painfully into the blackness of another damn workweek. I'm sure everybody out there has been annoyed by at least one or two of their idiot coworkers by this time of the day . You know the people of which I speak- the ones who live for work because that's all they have in their pathetic little existences. They move about - every ounce of their being devoted to how far up the boss's bum they can squeeze their overly inflated heads. They are the absolute worst sort - company people. They are the ones who question why you took the extra pen or pad because you just got some the other day. They're also the same people who informed the boss of that schedule conflict thus preventing you from taking that dream vacation you had planned. Lastly, they are the ones who bring the worst smelling lunch - stinking the joint up - talking with their mouths full - spitting their foul concoctions into your face giving non-stop direction for the eight hours you are there. I tell you - I really need to start my own business! Have a good day.