Taunting the fool...

After a long week of security patrols here on the compound, I'm really looking forward to relaxing over the weekend. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do but I'm pretty sure it involves nothing. Not only that, I plan on lying on the grass while the moron slaps on his work clothes and goes about yard work just so he can see me doing nothing. Then every chance I get I'll get in his way as he mows the lawn - because I can. I can do so without fear of his little electric green machine since he wouldn't dare run me over and if he did - I'm not too sure it would do any damage anyway. You can not comprehend my shame watching him outside  each and every week wearing his dark shorts, black socks, and stretched  out  v-neck tee shirt pushing that contraption around the yard. All the rest of the block gets buff gas machines and I got the fat version of Ed Begley Jr outside doing the sissy mower dance of the doofus around the front yard. Oh well, I guess I'll be drinking plenty of tequila this weekend! Have a great weekend folks!

So what's the big deal...

The owner and his wife were watching the new Leno show tonight at 10pm. I'm not sure what all the fuss is about since it appears that all they did was move Conan's old show to the Tonight Show spot and the old Tonight Show was moved to 10 pm. 

The critics didn't like Leno's new show but what's the difference beside the loss of the interview desk? Maybe if the new show was about Jay having a tea party with some dolls or something  then we might have something truly new but this so called, "new" show is  just too much like his old show.

The big cool down...

Thank God that our fall temperatures are starting to return. After all the wildfires and the stifling heat wave that perched itself over Los Angeles the past month or so - I welcome the cooler air of the evening! You people out there should be happy that you all don't wear a damn fur coat 24/7 in the summer heat - it's the pits!. I would love to try out one of your flesh suits for a day or so and be able to sweat because panting isn't all it's racked up to be. Ok - I'm off to drink some cool refreshing blended drinks on the patio! Cheers!

I'm outdoors you know...

And that is where I'm going to stay! I'm tired of that little dog always coming after me so I'm staying outside in my dog hole and refusing to come inside. If anyone wants to adopt me - I'm soooooooo available. I just require that whoever shows up to claim me not have any other dog and that you come and get me during the night when the goofball owner is asleep. I don't think that the doofus owner will mind me moving on but I don't want to take any chances so be absolutely quiet when you show up. I do require Iams lamb and rice dog food and a quiet place to sleep otherwise I'll consider it a deal breaker. 

I'm already packed and ready to go. I have my dog towel and my Dogzilla toys (available at Wallmart) - which I love more than anything in the world these days. Do you know that they make rubber toys with chicken flavoring -  I kid you not! Yes, and they have a rubber and rope tug toy that is fantastic for taking the smaller dog in your life and flinging him halfway across the yard to get your anger out. Did I just admit to that? Anyway, I've got my stuff packed and am ready to give you the best year to two that I have left as a loyal half-hearted watch dog. Oh, who the hell am I kidding - I'm going to eat your food and sleep the day away. I'm a senior citizen so that's the best I can promise. So come and get me if you want - I'm ready!

Mondays... Ok... all together now...

And he can see no reasons
'Cos there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be show-ow-ow-ow-own?

Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why

I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why 
I don’t like Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot the whole day down!

Ok, now that we got that out of the way - let's have a great day!!!!!!!

Saturday question of the week...

I've decided to try something new on Saturdays. I'm going to present a question for discussion and if you guys like it we'll keep it going. This week's question is, "How can we make dog owners clean up after their pets?" 

I'll get the ball rolling by saying that we should punish those owners the same way some out there discipline their dogs for going on the floor - by shoving their face in it. So who is with me on this?

Let's have some joy here people!

This morning on my daily walk with the big moron I spotted pure joy. It's not everyday one witnesses this type of enjoyment - especially in the morning during rush hour but it sure is refreshing. Anyway, as me and my walking food delivery system were going about our morning ritual we stopped at a crosswalk to wait for the light to change.

 At the same time, a car pulled up to the crosswalk with a heavyset young man - mid twenties with slick black hair. This young man was not alone for he was traveling with the whole cast of, "Mamma Mia"  or at least it sounded that way with the music blasting full tilt out his open windows. I don't believe he noticed any of us on the street or in the other cars waiting at the intersection because he was too busy enjoying himself. There was seat dancing, head flops from side to side, and hand and arm gestures out the open driver side window to accentuate his favorite moments of the song. I even thought I caught a glimpse of the white man's overbite but with my old eyesight - I'm not entirely sure.

The whole scene only lasted a few moments for the light changed and the man drove off into the morning  sunshine - joyously continuing his car dance along Magnolia Boulevard. Once the initial shock wore off and my mind was able to process what I had just seen - I smiled and thought how rare it is to see someone enjoying themselves out in public like that. Unfortunately my good feelings didn't last long. The big idiot brought me back to his reality by mumbling, "what a freak"  while shaking his head and pulling my leash to continue our walk. That is the difference right there! At that moment I would have much rather been driving down the street singing at the top of my lungs with Mamma Mia boy than to be doing the slow death march home with - the walking dark cloud. 

Anyway, it's Friday - the best day of the work week. Try to find some joy today - sing loudly, dance wildly, act silly - anything to get you and the people around you to enjoy the moment. Happiness is never overrated. Have a great day folks - I'm going to my dog hole to listen to Mamma Mia on my iPod!