I've spent all week planning how to stop the obese phantom once and for all! First I've placed those spiky nails use to keep pigeons away all over our rooftop. If the rotund mound places one step on our roof he'll be popped like an over inflated balloon! Next, I glued all our windows shut with the craft glue I found in the garage. I hope it is strong enough. If not - my best case scenario would have the portly litterbug going into full cardiac arrest fighting to force them open! If he does decides to use the door method, I've boarded up the back door and plan to plant myself right at the front door in order to unleash hell on anyone who comes through it with a full dose of canine furry.
Yup, I'm done with the fat guy in the red and white suit and sweet victory will be mine this year. I'll let you know how it turns out. Happy Holidays everyone!