I’m a bit concerned today about the economy and what it may mean to my employment. Traditionally, Security is a pretty safe bet during rough times but now I’m not so sure. Ramses, a Doberman from down the street, was released the other day after thirteen years on the job! He mentioned the other week through the fence that his employer was upset with his performance and was thinking about, “options”. How ridiculous is that? Apparently his boss was miffed because Ramses was having a difficult time getting up off the floor, which he said was due to his not feeling well. Sure he might have been slower reacting to security threats but he still had value - hardly a valid reason to punish him. Ramses also mentioned that they were talking about sending him to some kind of Kennel in the sky or something of that manner.
I guess they must have made their decision because it all hit the fan the other day. Can you believe that after all those years of service they fired him - just like that? They didn’t even have the decency to let him walk out on his own. Instead they carried him out of the house. So embarrassed were they by what the neighbors might think that they actually tried to hide his identity by wrapping him in a blanket - even his face! I’m sure he had a hard time breathing in there. They could not fool me though- I knew it was Ramses because I recognized his scent. Funny, it was stronger than usual? Huh... they must not have given him a bath in a while I guess.
Anyway – this is not the first instance of this type of behavior to go on in the neighborhood and one could safely blame the economy considering all the bad press lately. I know my owner has been affected - I’ve been switched to a cheaper grade of food. Fortunately for me, I still provide a good return on his investment. I guess I shouldn’t worry too much because I doubt any of them are qualified to keep the vermin outside the perimeter. They don’t even recognize threats when they see them! Just yesterday the owner was outside and actually called a flea-bag cat over - and if that wasn’t bad enough - he even touch the little parasite! Undermined my authority just like that! I had just gotten done warning that little pariah to keep away from our house and then the goofball decides to call it over. I’m beside myself right now! You know what, I’m not worried about this position after all - I don’t care anymore. Let them displace me – I welcome it! I’m not appreciated here anyway so fine. I can always find someone willing to take on new security. The old guy down the street is always yelling at kids who come near his lawn - maybe I’ll shoot him a resume. I could also try to track down Ramses and see what he's up to. I’m sure there aren’t too many Kennels in the sky since I’ve never heard of them before. It doesn’t sound like a franchised business either. I’ll have to give this some more thought. Have a good day.
