Once again I got crap for Christmas!!! Every year - all I ever ask for is some new security equipment and maybe a little prime rib, and every year it's the same damn thing... tennis balls and stupid stuffed animals! I got news for the owner and his band of merry misfits - if I wanted that kind of crap all I would have to do is go to any of the neighboring yards and grab some. You see - we live in an area filled with timid, shaky, tea cup dogs and overly inflated dachshunds so it would be nothing for this 95 pound beast to impose my will and extract that which I desire most. I refrain because I am a just dog who only wishes to do good. But, if I wanted... Whoa Nellie!
So, now that I haven't gotten what I wanted, I've decided to shoot the works and do a little Internet shopping with the owner's credit cards. So far today I've managed to purchase the deluxe orthopedic dog bed from Petmate that boasts of soft elegant plush fabric, decorative piping, and a low profile. This should go a long way in helping this older dog get a good nights rest and also an easier transition in the morning. Being eleven is a drag!
I also purchased a new home security system with camera monitors and emergency touch pads. Soon I'll easily be able to patrol the compound grounds from my new bed and call in the troops when needed. No more will that lousy Pat Possum be lolly gagging around on my front porch against my will! Once my new system is installed, I'll be sending out the full dose of our Burbank PD when he shows up... maybe even the SWAT unit. Oh, he'll see... they'll all see!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright, I better finish my shopping before the rest of the family wakes up and foils my plans. I'm going to the HoneyBaked Ham site to see about their Prime rib dinners. Hopefully I can get fast delivery. Have a great day folks!