You want to know what I'm growing most tired of hearing? All the complaining on human television about the human US President. He sounds like an alright owner - he is supposedly getting a dog for his kids so he can't be too bad. His color and coat appear pretty good - I just don't see the problem. We dogs just had an election for our President recently. You wouldn't have known because, duh, we don't have television coverage. So unless you have been listening to the five o'clock howlings the last few weeks, you'd be in the dark. Anyway, it was a landslide - as you humans would call it. Comet, "Labrador" Franklin won on his campaign promise of Universal Milk Bones and belly rubs for all. We are a bit relieved since he is more of a moderate after twenty-eight years of the hawk we had in Red, "Basset" Howell. I'm a little skeptical that Comet will be able to pull off his promises but word is that he has huge financial backing from the Trump family dog so we'll have to see.
The inauguration is on the 14th of April and our President will be in control for the next 28 years - four human years for those of you who haven't figured it out yet. This is a huge deal for us. We used to depend on the, "leader of the pack" method for elections - that is the candidates would fight it out and the loser would be labeled as an outcast and forced from the pack but we found that to be a bit outdated since most of us are behind fences and away from the pack anyway. Additionally, our smaller, more qualified leaders had a harder time establishing themselves against larger opponents so to be fair we got away from the system that favored brute strength. Now we have elections by bark. Unfortunately this opens everyone up to criticism from other area pets that are backing other candidates. We also have to be careful not to get too carried away since all the ruckus usually makes our owners angry who then throw shoes or make us come inside. It's not a perfect system but it's the best for now.
This past election I tried to disguise my bark when voting but the dogs on the street figured it out anyway - dumb Chihuahuas! I'm tired of hearing those shaky little mongrels going on and on about their candidates - we really need some kind of secret ballet or something! Unfortunately, we'll have to make due until we regain our freedom - sometime in the future according to the Canine holy texts. Ok, that's all I got for today. Happy Friday to all!