It started off beautifully enough - a flowery meadow in a valley, surrounded by mountains made from kibbles with a beef gravy stream running thru the center. All about the meadow was a healthy supply of pig's ears and snausages sporadically placed. It sure was heavenly - I was even able to fly! Anyway, I was rolling in the sun and had just eaten about fifty pounds of snausages when all of a sudden I heard the owner's diabolical laughter off in the distance.
At first I tried to ignore it - hoping that it would just go away but it got closer and stronger. Looking around, I spotted the most horrendous thing coming over the highest of the kibble mountains - a giant newspaper. I stood speechless but felt myself shaking in terror. A whimper was all I could muster as it approached closer and closer. A large shadow of the newspaper enveloped me as it blocked out the sun. I could feel the hairs of my neck stand up and my tail curl under. As I stood frozen, the front end of the newspaper rose high in the air and then stopped for about a second. It then came racing down towards me with every intention of swatting me like a bug. I turned around to run away but a fence had magically appeared to block my way. I turned around again and was dumbfounded to find the big baboon owner blocking my path - dressed in an Animal Control uniform and armed with a net. He was laughing hysterically as he swung the net back and forth. I felt the air pressure of the paper coming down hard and decided to make a break around the moron to escape. I juked left but broke right and barely avoided the control net and paper as they crashed to the ground behind me. I needed to get away fast so I tried to use my flight ability. Unfortunately, I could only get a few inches off the ground before tumbling back down to the ground. I would have to run.
My heart pounded in my chest as I tried to run as fast as I could. My muscles were straining but I was unable to go any faster than a walking pace. Turning to see where the paper was, I noticed it right above me, lifting again for the final swat. The owner's laughter was also getting closer and louder. I tried running harder but still could not put any distance between me and the paper or laughter. The shadow covered everything around me as I braced myself for the impact. I felt the paper strike and it stopped me right in my tracks.
If not for the pain in my head - I would have thought I was dead. It took a few moments to shake the cobwebs loose and for my vision to clear but when it did, I could not see my meadow or mountains. Instead I found myself lying in front of the living room wall by the front door. I realized that I had been dreaming but how did I get in the living room when I had remembered falling asleep in the bedroom hallway? I got up gingerly and noticed that there was a candleholder knocked over by the bedroom hallway entrance. I must have knocked it over in my mad dash.
As I contemplated all this, a light came on and the Village Idiot came out of the bedroom in his tee shirt and boxer shorts. His moron eyes must have had a hard time adjusting because he kept rubbing them as he asked, "What's going on out here?" He looked around and then picked up the candle and holder and set them back up on the floor by the hallway. Scratching his rear, he walked back into the bedroom and bellowed, "Be more careful!" He also had the audacity to say, "idiot dog." under his breath. How dare he!
Seething, I tried unsuccessfully to fall back asleep. Even after I calmed myself down from his insensitive words, I could not fall back asleep. Every time I got close, I would experience a falling sensation that would wake me back up. Man I have issues! Oh well, I'm tired and need to try and catch up on some sleep. Have a happy Monday all!