Friday, July 10, 2009

Burbank Travel Series - Spotlight: Colony Theatre

I couldn't stand being cooped up in the madhouse listening to the village idiot going on and on about how long the typical light bulb usually lasts - so I decided to bust out and treat myself to some live entertainment. Once procuring my escape from Casa de Dufus, I strolled the downtown section of Burbank in search of suitable entertainment and found the dazzling little theatre that is the Colony Theatre here on the corner of Third and Cypress streets. The Colony has been a staple of the Burbank community since it moved from the Silver Lake section of Los Angeles in 2000 and has been producing successful productions ever since it's inception year of 1975. The theatre boasts a list of awards too numerous to mention in one article but one can check it out for themselves with a quick visit to their website . It was with all this in mind that I set out to get a taste of some truly inspiring theatre.

For companionship, I once again recruited the talents of my good friend - Teddy  - our local Burbank wino. Unfortunately for me, Teddy was not in tip-top shape like our last jaunt - mainly due to polishing off two bottles of Boone's Farm - Snow Creek Berry wine. If one is to truly enjoy the wonders of Teddy's company, it is recommended that one gets to him earlier in the day rather than later. Normally Teddy is quick to offer pontifications of his vast knowledge of culture or stories of the history of Burbank. Tragically - this evening he had a tough time at first keeping himself upright and then later - keeping liquids inside his body. I may have to look for other cultural companions for future escapades if this continues but for now Teddy and I remain buds.

So Teddy and I arrived at the theatre at about 7:00pm for the 8:00 pm showing of the current comedy play, "Two Pianos Four Hands" I was very excited as I awaited my first theatre experience and couldn't wait to get inside to at least buy a program. After waiting for about fifteen minutes, and just as I was about to get to the box office window, I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of that unmistakable white van with black letters on the side that is the Burbank Animal Control Mobile. 

Having just ditched the mumbling Teddy in the back alleyway minutes before was probably not one of my greatest decisions but it was necessary because he had grown tired of the wait and had once again decided to use the bathroom without actually excusing himself. Anyway, I watched the van as it slowed down to inspect the large dog sporting a lampshade walking around in front of the Colony Theatre without any apparent owner nearby. Well, they soon made up their mind and began to turn the van around my way. I knew that if they got me - there would be a lot of explaining to the big doofus owner and who needed that? Before you could say, "spayed and neutered", I found myself running into a nearby underground parking lot looking for a quick escape. I eventually made my way through the parking garage and fortunately found a suitable hiding spot in the IKEA loading dock area. Fred the dock manager was a very nice man who gave me half a bologna sandwich and a bowl of water while I waited for the fuzz to vacate the area. He even took off my lampshade so that I could relax. What a nice man! 

Well, needless to say, with all the commotion, I missed my curtain time and had to settle for a long disappointing walk home. Making matters worse was having to hear the idiot owner going on and on about my not having my lamp shade when he found me in the back yard. Fortunately my pain was soon eased when he decided to trudge off to the pet store to get me another shade. That was just as I was beginning to get used to unobstructed views again. I tell you, if it weren't for my bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all!

Overall, I give the Colony Theatre high marks - mainly for the curb appeal of the building because let's face it - that was all I really saw. Unfortunately I will once again have to apologize for the lack of a proper review since I was unable to gain access to my desired event despite my best intentions. I did hear from Fred the IKEA loading dock manager that the show is a big success so if your looking for an enjoyable evening while in the downtown section of Burbank - try Burbank's own Colony Theatre. Oh, and do say hello to Teddy if he's still lying behind the dumpster in the alley. 

Haley's Dog Ratings: Colony Theatre performance of Two Pianos Four Hands 
  1. Building - 5 barks
  2. Acting - N/A
  3. Story - N/A
  4. Costumes - N/A
  5. Programs - 5 barks - smelled crisp and new
Until next time - have a great day folks!