Sunday, May 17, 2009

What's that shaking?

Well, I guess we can't get through one weekend without some kind of nuttiness. Tonight we had a 4.7 earthquake here in southern California. The whole ordeal just made me ask some simple questions such as - does that goofball, shlep owner of mine have any kind of plan for me and the rest of the family for these situations? Do these people even know the correct responses? I just hope that moron doesn't have the intention of just letting me run wild if things get bad - or worse yet - use me as a quick meal when food gets tight. If you saw what he looks like you wouldn't blame me for that last bit of concern. Anyway, I was at least very least calm under fire.

If these people learned anything tonight it should have been that I can be used as an excellent early warning system. I was the first in the house to know what was going on tonight. The rest of the family was completely oblivious. How in the hell did they missed the rumbling as it came rolling in? I tried to warn the fools who were just sitting there all slack-jawed - catching flies in their open mouths and blinking their eyes but they were just too dense to understand. I'm there crying and walking around in circles and all they can think to ask is, "What's wrong with the dog?" What's wrong with the dog? What the hell do you think is wrong with the dog?! Get under a table or something you idiots! Finally, once the house starts shaking, they then get their epiphanies at the same time - looking at each other and saying in unison, "Earthquake!!!" I'm thinking - really? Are you guys sure? Maybe you want to discuss this a little more before coming to this snap decision? I mean - the house is lifting off it's foundation - are you sure it's just not gas? Maybe we should gather a blue ribbon panel to discuss this further? Or maybe you can just skip this nonsense and listen to the freaking dog for once!

Luckily the whole ordeal only lasted a few moments. Before they even realized that running past a brick fireplace during an earthquake to get to the kids was a bad idea - it was over. One can only hope that tonight's experience woke them up to the importance of reviewing the old family emergency plan every once in a while. Having fresh food, water, and medical supplies for your family and pets during trying times just might be a God send! Have a good day folks.