Well, my attempt to pass myself off as a Seeing eye dog to acquire some of that delicious Handy Market tri-tip was derailed yesterday by the idiot owner! I tell you - I have the worst luck! What's the chances of that moron being at the store at the same time as me? I don't understand it - I had been so careful in my plans. I purposely waited about a half hour after the numbskull left so as to make sure he was far away before making my attempt.
It took about forty-five minutes alone just to get the Reese's beach towel on my back and then I go and get myself caught! What a waste! You should have seen look on the village idiot's face when he saw me in the store!
Up until then, everything had been going so well. I had made it past the check out area unnoticed and was just about all the way to the meat counter with my note when I heard, "Haley?... What the hell?" I turned and saw the look on his face and panicked. I ran around the corner out of sight before getting my bearings back enough to ditch the note about my being a Seeing eye dog. Before I knew it, he had rounded the corner and grabbed me by the collar. I had no other choice but to give myself up freely for I was in big enough trouble already as it was. As he removed me from the store, my feeble minded owner apologized left and right to all the workers and whoever else would listen. I don't think anyone cared too much - they just seemed stunned seeing a dog running thru the store wrapped in a beach towel.
All the way home the owner's face was beet red as he read me the riot act about leaving the yard or our home for he did not know yet how I had gotten out. I guess I could have told him that I had finally figured out how to turn the dead-bolt on the front door by slapping at it with my paw but I could tell that it was not the right time. Luckily, I had forgotten to close the door when I left so it looked as if the door had been left open by the last person to leave or I had pushed an unlatched door open enabling my escape. He kept mumbling something about knowing he had locked the door when he left. What also really bothered him was the beach towel on my back. He had a hard time trying to figure any scenarios about that one. Oh well, life is full of mystery - let him wonder.
Over all, I'm not discouraged. I know that I can use my new technique now to get out any time I like so I'll try again when this all blows over. Then I'll get my fill on those yummy meats at the deli counter. Have a good day folks!
