Giving it the old college try ...

I'm hungry but there's nothing I want to eat around here. My bowl has some disgustingly dry lamb and rice nuggets left over from last night's dinner but that's not exactly what I'm craving. What I really want is steak so I'm thinking about sneaking out down the street to the local Handy Market and getting some of their famous tri-tip. Unfortunately, I'm anticipating that I will be foiled again by that lingering communication problem that manifests whenever I physically try and talk to humans. They just never seem to understand me!

I'm still upset from the other week when I ventured out on Kentucky Derby day to place a wager but the lousy human at the window couldn't understand simple dog talk. This jerk must have been related to the ignoramus owner because he also asked me if Timmy was down the well when I was trying to speak to him. I really hate when people ask me that question! Anyway, because of that moron, I didn't get the $20 - to win bet down on, "Mine that Bird"  - the long shot I pegged after seeing the track condition in the pre-race coverage. Of course I never got a chance to see the actual race or results because the big numbskull owner turned off the television for the day shortly after that report.  Anyway, I'm thinking now that I might email my steak order in and then state that I'm sending my Seeing eye dog over to pick it up. 

The only problem with my plan is that I don't really know what Seeing eye dogs are wearing these days. I've seen them sporting those little colored blankets from time to time but I wouldn't  know where to get one. We have an old, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup" beach towel in the linen closet that I can try slapping on my back.  I guess I'll try that and carry a printed note with instructions for their worker. Ok, wish me luck and have a good day!