One more day until the fat one stuffs his overloaded carcass down our chimney and I'm beside myself with anger about my recent treatment here in goofballville. Last night the village idiot owner and his family had a party where I was forced to spend the evening out in the backyard. How dare they! What nerve! What gall! Who the hell do these people think they are keeping the beloved security agent with eleven years service outdoors on a brisk night in Burbank! The temperature surely dropped below 60 degrees! I have half a mind to call animal services.
Maybe they were hoping that I'd come down with a case of pneumonia or athlete's foot or something. Yeah, save themselves a few coins per month on my salary. Why should I be surprised? What do they care now - they have the little abomination now to take my place. I'm no fool - I can see the writing on the wall. That puppy was allowed to stay in the house last night. He was penned up in the bedroom, but in the house nonetheless. You know, I even heard them parading that little stinker around to all their guests so everyone could comment on how cute the little crapper was! Nobody came out to pick me up. Nobody carried me around from guest to guest! So now you can see why I'm ticked off. The injustice is thick my friends! Thick indeed!