Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Congrats goes out to the big doofus who finally secured a job for himself late last Friday. I'm shocked - can't imagine anyone who would hire the guy. I wouldn't hire him to man a lemonade stand let alone any position of importance! The only answer I can come up with is that he really must have buffaloed somebody up this time! Anyway, he starts this week so now I will not have to bear with any of his distractions during the day. Unfortunately his wife and brats will still be here but they are only minor annoyances.
Friday, June 26, 2009
I've been thinking about maybe joining the California National Guard as a guard dog. Of course at ten years of age - I may not be what they are looking for. Then again, recruitment may be down during this time of war so they may take me after all. I'm free of fleas and the hot spot is being taken care of - lamp shade should be off in a few days so maybe I'll stop by the recruitment station to chew the fat and see what the deal is.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Another batch of humans are coming for a visit today and staying for a few weeks! This of course means even less time for me to write my thoughts on the computer since everyone will be all in my face telling me how much of a pretty dog I am and so on and so forth. Wait, what am I complaining about - that sounds pretty good actually. Also, more kids means more food dropped on the ground. More adults also means more food dropped because they are sure to go on a few nightly benders. Ah yes - visitors - bring them on!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
All my best plans laid to waste - I sit dejected today - a beaten dog. I was in rare digging form yesterday - snout was keen to the mossy smell of the soil, claws sharp and ready for the job at hand, and ears pinned back for maximum overdrive. I would put an end to the tyranny of the sprinkler system! Too long I had suffered the wrath of its unexpected water rage -soaking me as I squat helplessly in prone early morning dump position. But alas - an unholy alliance had been forged - conspirators! Apparently the sprinkler has taken over the feeble mind of my dim-witted owner. I'm not sure how or when this happened - I just know he had been taken in and schooled in the ways of the ninja like sprinkler attack. Who would have thought my slow paced/lazed owner could move with such gazelle like speed? Before I could dissect my first root ball from grass clump he was on me. One swing of his mighty newspapered hand was all it took to send me in a four paw scurry for shelter. Surprise ... shock... dismay, All I could think was ... Et tu, Homeowner?... Et tu?. Oh, the humanity - traitorous, treasonous, vile lump of flesh! But... I shall move on - my day shall come as well. I too shall bask in glorious victory one day. I shall never give up, or in to this tyranny! On that day of sweet justice the bells of the city will ring, the choirs of heaven will sing, and the masses will shout from the rooftops, "Yes this is the day of our FREEDOM - FREEDOM for the righteous. FREEDOM for the powerless. FREEDOM for the disenfranchised!" I now proclaim on this day of days... I shall defeat you sprinkler!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
- Food - 5 barks
- Ambiance - 3 barks for alluring garbage aroma and soothing electrical transformer hum.
- Service - 1 bark - we suggest they lose the profanities and forced exit tactics.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Well, I know one show I'm never planning to watch - the upcoming Octo-Mom show that supposedly is in the works. Why anyone would want to subject himself to watching a house full of screaming kids is beyond me. Those who are interested need to find a local family that has more than 2-3 kids and volunteer to baby-sit for an afternoon. I don't think they'll be too keen on the idea afterwards. We get enough of our own kids having emotional breakdowns - who wants to watch other people’s demon seed freaking out or acting unruly?
What's so special about this bitch anyway? Dogs have multiple pups in a litter all the time and what happens? They are split up and sent to different families - that's what should happen here. Afterwards Octo-nut should be fixed as an example. Otherwise we’re opening the floodgates to all the other idiots out there doing stupid things in order to become famous.
Lastly, I disagree with all the people out there who say she should take the money she receives from the show and pay back the state for all of the help she's been receiving. My thinking is that she can keep all of the money but must promise to then buy an island somewhere and fade into oblivion. No more appearances, updates, or interviews - just stay away and you can keep all the money you earn from your idiotic show.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Thank God for flea and tick products! I was practically tearing the fur off of my body over the weekend because of those little bastards. That was before the idiot owner finally used his thumbs for something other than opening chip bags and applied some of that flea and tick medicine on me. But before you go and think of him as some kind of great savior of the scratching canine world, know that he spent the whole time torturing me with complaints about the high cost of the treatment -over $65 for a four month supply. I think he was under some kind of delusion that I actually cared how much he was paying while I was being eaten alive. Like I was going say, "Hold on - how much are you paying for this? Are you kidding me!? Well, let's go look for something a little cheaper. I can hold out a little while longer - they're only devouring my liver"