Monday, July 13, 2009

Call Donny Deutsch - I have my BIG idea...

I was feeling on edge tonight so I decided to take a walk to clear my mind. I had originally intended to just venture out by myself but decided to take the goofball owner along after he attached a leash around my neck. Oh well, I figured if he was going to come along, he'd better just hold on, keep up, and most importantly - keep his big mouth shut because this was my night for walking. Besides, I had to get out after the past week of wearing that stupid dog shade. I was raring to check out every bush, tree, and living creature on the block and I was not going to let some human with an IQ of six dictate my enjoyment. I tell you - I must have pulled that moron up and down half the streets of Burbank. When I finished I felt a big weight lift off my shoulder for a life changing idea had come to me.

 I think I may have finally found a way to escape the life of a security dog here on the compound. The answer is - day care service. Not just any old day care but a one stop shop for people with both pets and children so they can avoid the hassle of multiple drops. So with that in mind, it gives me great pleasure to announce the opening of the, "Haley Keppel - Run With The Dogs Daycare Facility" here in Burbank.

There are millions of duel parent/pet owners out there sending their pets one place while sending their children to another. This can make anyone's morning commute a living hell. At the Haley Keppel Run With The Dogs Day Care Facility, parents can eliminate the unnecessary extra trips while taking comfort in the fact that their children will get a good dose of exercise running after dogs and cats in a safe secure back yard. In addition to exercise, participating children will be building up their immune systems to pet dander allergies that have been plaguing many children today. Another benefit will be that all human campers will be trained for free to spot and clean up pet messes - adding a valuable life skill which they can use to gain future employment opportunities. With the economy being that way it is - vocational training should never be taken lightly!

The benefits for pet owners is just as amazing for they can take comfort knowing that their little angels will now be supervised by a staff of caring children matching pets one for one. I ask you - what other care facility out there can offer such hands on care for your pet? Sign up now for early registration and receive a free leash that can be used for either pet or child - you decide. The prices are still being worked out but I'm thinking it will be somewhere around $200 per week but that price will include at least one meal and one drink per week! We look forward to our first day of operation and remember - drop off time is sometime after my doofus owner leaves for work around 8 am. Earlier drop off is available for an additional fee but those campers will be required to hang out in my dog hole to avoid detection. Thank you in advance for your patronage - we look forward to a successful Summer session!