Don't be lemmings

Not sure what all the hubbub was all about but the goof-ball owner made a big deal of displaying our flag all day Monday. Surprisingly, the neighbors followed his lead by first putting up their own flags and then later by adopting his sloth like way by taking the day off. I'm guessing that laziness must be in vogue these days. Well, there goes the neighborhood! Before you know it, the whole block will be stacked three deep with unemployed bumpkins watching Judge Judy, yelling out windows to devil children, and stuffing their faces full of Funyons.  All the while, their lawns will grow unchecked, their clothes will hang in state on front porch wash-lines, and their burnt out Christmas lawn decorations will become unrecognizable from an eternal sun bleaching process. Boy, I just can't wait!

I'm wondering also about the other habits these fools might adopt from my idiot owner. They can start by copying his distinguished look which matches one tight tee shirt with an overly baggy pair of pants. Do keep in mind that the pants need to be worn high over the stomach - around chest height. Ideally - we are trying to achieve the illusion of a walking pear. Oh and don't forget to complete the look by adding black colored socks and open toed sandals. Now that's hot!

 After nailing the look, it's time to address the attitude. That's best accomplished by discontinuing the useless communication process we call self-editing. Don't worry about offending people because you're now a straight shooter who calls it as you see it. If anyone is offended, chalk it up to their inability to see things in a rational manner or their overly sensitive nature. Most importantly - remember that you're God's gift to humanity. Good luck to those of you who choose to join this parade of fools. As for me - I'm thoroughly disgusted!