I'm completely disgusted! I'm not even in the ground yet and already my replacement has been brought in. Oh and how everyone loves the puppy! Everywhere I turn - it's look at the puppy this and look at the puppy that. Never mind that the damn thing craps on the floor every chance it gets. If I went on the floor, I'd be having a date with the gas chamber but the cute little puppy gets a free ride.Oh, it's not as if I haven't tried to get along, they have us separated by a baby gate most of the time but whenever I get close the little crap starts reading me the riot act about personal space and what not. Of course this doesn't surprise me because the moment I laid eyes on the little abomination I knew I was in for some trouble. You see, the little mongrel they call, "Brock" is one of those Shitsus who obviously suffers from, " little dog syndrome" I'm sorry that you were dealt the small hand but I can't help that I was born big and beautiful and I absolutely refuse to apologize or be made to feel sorry about it so deal. Anyway, I'm going to be nice for the moment because the owner keeps telling me I should. I guess I owe the big goofball that for keeping my dish filled with food but that little dog better start minding himself.
I keep wondering what's in all this for me and the answer I keep coming back with is bubkiss. The owner and his snot nosed kids are enjoying their new puppy but what about me? I get less attention is what I get! And what the hell is going to happen from now on when we all go for walks? Who do you think is going to be getting the lion's share of the attention? How can anyone expect me to compete with that? So this is how I get to spend my golden years? This is the thanks I get for all my years of service! I'm disgusted and I don't know how I'm going to deal with this. Lastly, what's going to happen if the little crap decides to start his own blog? Computer time is scarce to begin with. I better do my best to keep him illiterate. Oh well, I better go before I give myself palpitations. Have a good night folks - I'm going to go lie down in my dog hole and stew over this for awhile.
Haley,
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to worry about the readers. We're not going to say things like "Oh my gosh, that puppy is the most adorable little furball I've ever seen! I just want to give it a hug!" or talk that stupid baby talk, like "Wook at dat cutie wootie. Him is da most adorable wittle guy." Nope, not me. I like 'em well seasoned, large and in charge. You'll always be my favorite.
DG - thanks as always for being the true friend you are! It eases the pain knowing that you and many other readers are on my side! As for the rest of you - enjoy the puppy now because its going to grow up eventually and then your going to have to live with your actions - knowing how you treated me in my final years.
ReplyDeleteOh I could not agree more with DG. The big dog is the master of the domain. Little dogs do a lot of yip yip yip, and I like the big strong growl of a big dog.
ReplyDeletec'mon haley, you have to use this to your advantage.
ReplyDeletebroken lamp? the puppy did it
stolen sandwich? the puppy did it
pee on the rug? the puppy did it
chewed up loafer? the puppy did it
top out the humans credit card on jerky snaks? the puppy did it
Ettarose - thanks for the support - I do have a nasty growl indeed!
ReplyDeleteNooter - your right - I failed to recognize that I can now play the blame game. Thanks for bringing that to my attention!