Thursday, August 13, 2009

Are you ready for some doofus?

Well, here we go again - the doofus gets home from work and it's right off to the television to watch the football game. This guy is an absolute nut! Now we get to hear about Eagles this, Giants that, and NFC East is better that this or that division. It's enough to make the rest of the family leave for the season. If that's not bad enough - the big doof will soon be huddling with his collection of papers, goofball friends, and nutty relatives for their annual draft. Oh, God forbid that you walk into that room when the brainiac bunch is in session. And woe to the person or animal who dares to disturb the big goon when he is trying to use his collective IQ of 3 to make his pick. It's not like he can even make a good pick anyway - he hasn't ever won his league - never even come close. Oh well - at least he doesn't play for money - otherwise the family would be known as the barrel family - since that is all we would be wearing with his luck. Say, whatever happened to the image of poor people wearing barrels anyway? Huh - never see that anymore. 

But I digress, anyway the ones who truly suffer through this time of year are the families of these nut-jobs since they are the ones who are forced to tread lightly whenever there is a game. In our case we suffer most the weeks that the dingbat's fantasy team loses - which is most of them. Then the big baby will pout the whole night and expect some kind of special dinner because he had a bad day. I don't go for any of this  - oh poor baby stuff .... I'm more like - get the hell out of here! Grow a set and get on with life you big idiot. If your fantasy team's loss is the worst thing to happen on a given weekend then I'd have to say that you're doing better than most - goodnight!


  1. I think you would look adorable in a barrel. And you're right, if a fantasy team loss is the worst thing, God bless!

  2. Haley,

    Most football widows develop a coping mechanism called "revenge shopping". Talk to the lady of the house and see if you can get in on some of that.

  3. Hey, how could I pass up a post with a title like that! Then I discover the subject matter - bonus! Pre-season has started and my Sunday afternoon's are booked to February.

  4. ive got the humans frank tripucka card and am opening bids at three bags of snaks