Monday, October 5, 2009

Fistfight at 30,000 feet?

How would you like to be on a passenger jet cruising at 30,000 feet when the pilots and crew members engage in a fistfight? Well, that is just what was witnessed by passengers on an Air India jet recently. Keep in mind this was not about restraining an unruly passenger or anything like that - they were fighting over a report that one of the pilots had molested one of the female crew members. I can understand sticking up for the woman but maybe someone should have thought a bit deeper before deciding to open cans of whoop-ass in front of the passengers. Let us cover a few scenarios:

1) Hooray - crew members are successful at giving the pilots the beat down effectively teaching the, " keep your filthy hands off of the ladies" lesson. Victory to the oppressed yes, but then who left is capable of flying/landing the plane? Scenario # 1 proves that chivalry is not dead - all the passengers yes - but chivalry no!
2) Hooray - Pilots give the beat down to the surly crew members - putting the bastards in their place. Ok, now I know they can be slightly annoying at times with all the emergency directions, seat belt reminders, and checking your slightly larger than the overhead storage area bag, but who the hell is going to serve the alcohol after all the flight attendants get rung up? Not me - no I'm sticking with scenario #1 since I need the alcohol in order to fly these days.
3) Hooray- the pilots promise to not play grab-ass for the remainder of the flight and the molested woman is allowed to rest and recover from being groped. After the flight lands, the authorities are called in to investigate the incident when all the passengers are safely on the ground.  You know - call me crazy but I do believe that this  is the one I prefer since if I'm a passenger I get my drinks (a bit slower with one less staff member) and I get to live. 

Well there you have it. I'm hoping that someone from Air India comes across this post and adds it to their training manuel. I believe their passengers will prefer it.

NOTE: The picture above does not depict any of the people involved in the ruckus - at least as far as I know.


  1. I want that lady in the picture to serve my drinks on my next flight. Six at a time would be ideal.

  2. I want to write their training manual! It would be full of helpful suggestions, indeed... :)

  3. Yep, just what I need, being on a flight with a pissed off, perverted pilot (I love alliteration). You'd think someone would've said, "Ya know, Rajeesh, maybe we should wait till we're on the ground to sort this out."

    Dang Indians. No wonder we bamboozled them out of their land.

  4. Dg - I'm with you - never enough drinks on flights!

    Chelle (Offended) I second your nomination1

    Knucklehead - I commend you for your alliteration, common sense, and grasp of history! ;)