Thursday, October 8, 2009

My new adventure... real estate

Once again my need to escape my moronic owner and his house of idiocy has led me to focus on a career change from security. Today I was thinking real estate so I joined an online class with hopes of obtaining a license. I'm not sure which Burbank broker will allow me to work under his or her company but I hear that Bill Toth and Associates is the best in Burbank so I will try that office first. I'm trying to come up with a fancy jingle like - Buy from Haley dog - you can trust man's best friend! It's a work in progress so cut me some slack. Besides, I'll have a month or so to perfect it.

Anyway, I'm hoping real estate provides me the funds to move into my own place. I banking on the fact the canine market is one that has been completely untapped. I know many of you may have doubts but hear me out. There are millions of dogs across this country. Many are unable to move from their backyard doghouses either because they are tied up or fenced in. I can come in and help facilitate their move for a small percentage of food - say 3% for each party. There are plenty of dogs out there that have outgrown their current homes or would just like to upgrade but nobody is there to represent or help them. That is where I will come in. With a good bolt cutter and contracts in hand, I shall free these dogs and relocate them to their dream homes.

I already know who my first client is going to be - Fender  - a chocolate lab from down the street who has a stunning one-story doghouse in a tree-lined backyard here in the much desired media district of Burbank. He has been complaining through the fence for months that he has outgrown his home and is dreading the coming wet winter mainly because his rear end sticks out the doorway of his home. 

The home itself is only a few years old and is made of sturdy wood construction. It comes complete with real asphalt shingle roofing and new carpeting. Sniff checks reveals no termite infestation but potential buyers are advised to schedule their own testing. The home will be listed at $250.00 and I hope to have a virtual tour on my upcoming website a week or so after receiving my license. Fender will be selling contingent upon his finding a suitable home so that is the only disclosure. He is looking to move to a spacious yard in the Burbank hills so if anyone hears of anything let me know.  Ok, I better get cracking on my courses. Have a great day folks!


  1. Gosh, good luck on the new career in real estate. I'm not familiar with Burbank, but I'm sure you'll do well, as celebrities love their dogs.

  2. Haley,

    Will you be covering the East Coast market? Brownie the Wonderdog needs a new crib.

  3. Mike - thanks for the encouragement!

    Heather - I will do my best!

    DG - I'm focusing on the west coast for now but I won't rule out an east coast office in the future.

  4. will you be showing any commercial properties? im thinking of starting a small business: Nooters used collar exchange and emporium.

  5. Nooter - you know I had not even thought about commercial properties but that is an excellent idea - thanks!

    I would love to see a used collar exchange and emporium!

  6. I love your blog, keep up the good work. You have a new fan here!

    Check out my blog, I just got into this whole world!

  7. Great idea! What an untapped market.