And now... a Picture of My Owner!

OK, so this isn't the big moron but its the closest picture I could find to his resemblance - even has the same table mannerisms! The real injustice here is that a fool who looks like this has been allowed to rule my life all these years! How would you like having the recognized village idiot pulling you around by the neck everyday?

I've been so embarrassed by this monstrosity that I've been refusing to go on walks. Think other animals don't give you the business for who your owner is? Think again! Why do you think we bark at each other on walks or behind gates? We're really throwing insults about each other's owner. I guess it's like those Momma jokes you humans like so much. So it goes then when we are out on walks. I'm really tired of having Franz the doberman ask me if I need a hand walking my Macy's Day balloon down the street whenever we walk by. And Toby the Golden Retriever asks where my pointed dunce hat is to match my owner's pointed head! It just isn't worth it. I'm off to my dog hole now to write a few letters to the local pet shelters to see if they have any room this week. Wish me luck! Have a great day folks!