Saturday, May 9, 2009

Brush off...

I'm fed up with hearing how my fur makes a mess around this house. It's simple people - if you don't like the way my discarded hair travels around the floor in clumps like desert tumble weeds, then you have no other choice but to brush me more often. It's not like I can go grab a brush and do it myself - hello - no thumbs! Besides, is any of this really a surprise here? Is it too much to ask that people do a tiny bit of basic animal care investigation before deciding on whether to adopt a pet? Or do they just imagine that the magical fur fairy will arrive to clean up the mess? Overall, it's not my fault people!
You would think that they'd just be thankful that I supply my own body covering in the first place. Would they prefer that I demanded Gap jeans or Quick Silver shirts every month or so instead like those two brats of theirs? You know - the ones who don't even supply any valuable service around here. That is unless the household can't function without the use of electrical devices, unmade beds, and clothes on the floor. But I guess that is what a birth entitlement gets you. Meanwhile, the only one who works 24/7  around here is required to do her job while being fed second class citizen food. Oh, and let's not forget the wonderful rest one gets from sleeping on the floor! You guys ever try to work after sleeping on the floor all night? And what's my reward for all of this? I get to field complaints day and night about my fur on the floor while receiving the lion's share of the old stink eye. 
It's times like these when I wish something would have come about from all those art submissions I sent in. I personally think that my turtle drawings looked just like the ones in the advertisements. Who knows, maybe I'd be working in an art gallery somewhere by now or even for a NY advertising agency? I guess it's just not in the cards for me. I'm just trapped here in Count Doofula's castle for the duration. To forever be tortured by their inconsideration and general buffoonery. Oh, but I do take solace in that their near constant fur complaints as proof that they will  be taking care of me in my senior years instead of the convenient euthanizing most dogs receive. Ah yes - life is grand around here. Life is indeed grand! Have a great weekend!

7 comments:

  1. Poor little doggy. No appreciation at all. Did they take away your manhood too? Will you die a virgin. I hope not.

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  2. Yep, my four-legged friend also shed. Its all over the house but thats part of the deal when we adopted him.

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  3. Another thing to think about is make sure if you go to adopt a puppy or kitten that you bring a crate. I was transporting a 6 month old lab- border collie mix puppy that I had adopted and the dog got off of it's leash in the back seat-Got into the passenger side and then attacked me numerous times while I was driving. What a mess. I was able to control the car. The bites were on the arms-luckily not on my face. This was a nice dog that had been living with children. Apparently when we passed by some cows it got scared aggressive. Lesson- Dogs can act in an unpredictable manner and when transporting a dog -even if you know the animal, keep it in a crate.

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  4. Shedders have the most luxurious coats. Hairballs are the price of having such a sumptuously coated animal. A hairless dog is no fun to snuggle with.

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  5. We totally dig this blog!

    Check out ours when you get a sec!


    http://snarknbeans.blogspot.com/

    -Lo and Li

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  6. when the human gives me a hard time about shedding i tell him how many hairs did i lose today vs how many skin cells did he lose?

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  7. Hey guys, thank you all for being on my side! DG - I hear you - noboby wants to snuggle with a naked mole rat. Lori - I'm glad you enjoy the site! Nooter - thanks for the ammo - never thought about things that way.

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