Friday, May 22, 2009

What do you mean the size of a walnut?

So the dunderhead and I are out taking a walk and this old blue haired woman approaches us and gives me a compliment. "Oh, what a pretty dog!"She says. I of course love such accolades so I proceed to give her the tail wagging sign showing my pleasure and agreement. She then asks the owner if I'm friendly and after finding out that I am - she starts to briskly love me up. Not a bad walk so far is what I was thinking. She then asks the moron what breed I am. You can guess what happens next. Sure enough, he goes and ruins my good time by telling her that I'm ...  a mutt! What?! He should know by now that I prefer to be referred to as a Shepherd Mix - mutt has such a negative connotation. Needles to say my walk was ruined and so I spent the rest of the stroll ticked off. 

So we get home and he nonchalantly tells the whole walk story to his wife and once again uses the word mutt in reference to me. So now I'm completely beside myself with anger but I decided it best to head outside before saying something I'd regret later. As I was heading to the backdoor, I heard him tell his wife that the old woman said I looked like a smart dog. I didn't remember that part of the conversation but figure it must have occurred when I got distracted seeing that darn Roscoe the tabby from down the street. Oh how I loathe that cat! He loves to taunt me by always doing his business in our front bushes. Afterwards he strolls up our driveway to rub himself against our fence while purring and whispering softly that he's left me a present out front. Oh If I ever see that flea-bag outside - I'll show him something about presents! But I digress - so back to the dunce story.  The owner said his reply to the old lady was that I was probably too smart for my own good. I'm thinking - Ok, that's a compliment. I can work with that. Maybe he's trying to apologize for his last inconsideration. But here comes the kicker - he tells his wife that it's amazing I'm so smart considering that my brain is the size of a walnut! I was absolutely mortified! It took all my strength to hold my tongue as I went out the back door  to go and settle myself down. Deep inside I really wanted to blast him but I decided to take the high road.

As I was lying outside trying to calm myself down I  began to wonder  just how big my brain truly was. I know my head is smaller in comparison to  that of a human's but it's not so small as to make my brain the size referred to by the idiot. Can it? I refused to believe that so I tried to think of a way to find out. I eventually decided to try and roll my eyes into the back of my head (pictured below) to try and catch a glimpse. Unfortunately, I found out that dog eyes only go back so far so now it's back to the old drawing board. I have to think of something because this conversation is not over yet. I'll find my information and when I do - I'm sticking it right into that big goofy doughboy face of his! Have a good day folks!


6 comments:

  1. It's not the size of the walnut it's the motion in the ocean. Uh, I guess that doesn't work.
    Let's just say that you pack more bounce to the ounce. . . . That's not exactly right either. Whatever. You know what I mean. You are clearly mentally gifted, so don't get all caught up in this size-ist mentality.

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  2. if you want to see your brain you have to stand next to a mirror and look inside your ear

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  3. Size doesn't matter, really. ;-)

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  4. Wow! Walnut brain or not, you're still one good looking dude.

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  5. I think you're confused. Your owner was probably talking about HIS testicles.

    Feel better?

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