Thursday, October 15, 2009

What ever will we do?

OMG - I just heard that  TLC is not going to be bringing back John & Kate Plus 8 after November! Who is going to show the masses the proper way to raise children? What ever will we do once these life instructors are torn from us? When will be able to laugh again? Where will we go to watch parents fighting over their kids - besides grocery stores, public parks, restaurants, relative's homes and school functions? Why, oh why are John and Kate divorcing, and can't they just get along for the kids sake? 

Ok... now that I got that out of my system... who the hell gives a crap?! Listen - I know Pennsylvania - been there plenty of times. Believe me when I say that there are plenty of trashy families with kids to pick and choose from. I assure you TLC will not have any problem finding suitable replacements for John and Kate. In fact - I'm sure there are scores of large families across the country right now lining up to receive the type of financial help those two dunderheads were receiving from their moronic show. Then again - when money comes into play - you never know how people will react so we may just have one family failure show after another coming dow the pike. Maybe they should call it, "Churning the Trash Heap".

I'll never understand why anyone would willingly watch this type of show in the first place! It's horrible for the kids involved and watching kids scream and fight is just  absolutely painful. Come to think if it, viewing the show should probably be a mandatory part of our prison rehabilitation programs. Of course some Judge would probably determine that it falls into the category of cruel and unusual punishment so there goes that. 

As a dog born into a large litter of pups (7), I can safely say that large families really aren't very interesting. To get the gist - one only needs to experience five minutes of the bedtime ritual. This is where all hell breaks loose. Here's the rundown: A few kids will be fighting to use the bathroom at the same time (not all will make it). Others will be attempting to stay awake by hiding in various points around the house (stairwells, under beds, attic crawl spaces). While the remainder engage in some form of battle to the death - usually because someone was looking, touching, or taking something that didn't belong to them. The only thing missing is Star Trek's Amok Time battle music. Boy, now that I think about it - that is entertaining! Just don't tell that to the parents receiving the 24/7 beat down.

Those are the people seen convulsing on the sidelines - hands clasped in prayer - waiting for their little hellions to fall asleep. Afterwards - they'll cozy up to a six pack, bottle of scotch, rubbing alcohol or whatever is in the house that will ease their pain. This is the only time of the day where they can feel relief - letting the sweet blanket of unconsciousness remove them from their horrible, horrible existence. I guarantee you  - they do not have any interest in the John & Kate show.

Alright, I'm off the soap box and now heading outside to my dog hole for a few hours of undisturbed relaxation. I just hope the idiot owner doesn't leave out that little abomination of a puppy to bother me. Have a great day folks!


  1. As for us, we will do the happy dance of joy with our momma. We also think that it is now time for the parents to get REAL jobs to support their children instead of living off the kids.

  2. I won't miss them if they EVER really go away.

  3. Hey Haley,
    Maybe you and I can have a love/dogchild. Now THAT'S a hit show.

  4. Scout 'n Freyja - Let's do that happy dance!

    DG - I'm with you!

    Chrissy - now that would be something!

  5. Well it's about frikkedy-frakkin' time!